My name is Michelle Damaskinos. I’m a 49 year old woman (mother, sister and daughter) in the midst of my mid-life ‘unraveling’.
Midlife is when the universe gently places her hands upon your shoulders, pulls you close, and whispers in your ear:
I’m not screwing around. All of this pretending and performing – these coping mechanisms that you’ve developed to protect yourself from feeling inadequate and getting hurt – has to go. Your armor is preventing you from growing into your gifts. I understand that you needed these protections when you were small. I understand that you believed your armor could help you secure all of the things you needed to feel worthy and lovable, but you’re still searching and you’re more lost than ever. Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. You were born worthy of love and belonging. Courage and daring are coursing through your veins. You were made to live and love with your whole heart.
It’s time to show up and be seen.
Brene brown
‘the midlife unraveling’ – well worth the 15 minute read!
When these whispers in my soul became louder, and eventually started to scream, I could no longer ignore them and made the most pivotal shift in my (then) 43 year existence. I left my marriage of 19 years, and started over.
And then came a pandemic. My entire world literally tilted on its axis, and changed my life’s course forever.
The last seven years have torn me into a million pieces and put me back together again (more than once). They’ve fundamentally changed how I see myself and the world. They have entirely shifted my way of thinking. They have made me aware of the only thing that really matters in “this-life“, and that is LOVE. But it’s not that simple to fully experience. You first have to go within, and begin from there. You have to learn to truly love yourself – shadow and light. Because if you cannot love yourself, how can you love (or be loved by) another? I thought I knew what love was – but I’d barely scratched the surface.
My journey is not unique. I know it is shared by many. I also know the enormous courage it takes to walk this road. It really helps to not do it alone.
The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.
PABLO PICASSO
I’ve long known that my gift in this lifetime has been in my ability to communicate. I believe the time has come for me to activate my purpose by offering it in service of others. We’re all ultimately walking in the same direction home.
I have been guided and encouraged to write for a very long time now, but have spent about 5 years procrastinating. What would I say? Who on earth would read it? Who do I think I am to put myself out there? But through this journey, I have to come to realise that this is really not about me. This is about my intention to make a difference through my words.
What you will get from me here is honesty and authenticity, because this is what I have come to value the most in others. I adore people who are unapologetically themselves – flawed and boldly fabulous for it. I will share my thoughts and experiences in the hope that they help – even if it is just one person who is standing somewhere, desperately lost and alone.
I have no idea where this will go, but it’s time to just start, right where I am.
So here goes…